Jeff's Been Gone a Week Now...

...and I have been cleaning and organizing his house! One, to get it ready for his family and friends when they come for our wedding. And two, to get it ready for me to move in!

He has been gone on a mission trip with the youth from FUMC. I didn't have enough vacation time left, or I would have gone. But, this is the first time we've been separated for this length of time, since we started courting. And I definitely miss him!!! Not that I had any doubts that I would miss him! It's been nice staying at his house, cleaning it, in his absence. So, I've been surrounded by "him" in a sense. His house has its own scent that reminds me of him and all his stuff is around. It must be different for him because he has nothing with him that is "me". I don't even think he has a picture of me with him....we will have to do something about that. But, he is busy doing mission work, so I know he's survived fine without me! We have talked everyday, except for one (and now this evening, he hasn't called me yet), so that's been nice....ahh the convenience of cell phones! We only talk a few minutes as he is usually heading from one activity to the next when he calls.

They head home tomorrow, and won't be in until late, so I won't see him till Saturday, and that will be in the afternoon because he has to jump into his midnight shift on Sunday night, so he will be trying to transition Friday night and Saturday night.

We are going to a wedding on Saturday. The young couple getting married are friends of my daughter, Trisha. Actually, Trisha dated the groom (before he was the groom obviously) in high school. And they have all remained friends.

On another note, its been nice getting mail addressed to both Jeff and I :) We received a nice note from one of the long-time friends of Jeff's family, Marilyn. She is throwing a shower for me down in Holland on Aug. 27. That is so nice and very much appreciated! And then we got an invitation to Phyllis and Bruce Williams anniversary party! It just makes it all the more real that I will soon be Mrs. Jeffrey Lutz! Yeah!!! I can't wait!

Well, I should get back to more wedding ideas on-line!

My input regarding "The Question"

As you all have read, or can read in the previous post by Jeff, he popped the question!!! Yeah!!!! So, I thought I'd let you all know how it happened.

It was perfect! Just the way I wanted it! Casual, out-of-the-blue, surprise! We had been at the beach all day last Sunday, July 10, 2005, to be exact. We came to Jeff's house to relax and take it easy. So, we were just hanging out, being together, hugging, and he said, "I know I don't have a ring, but I really want to marry you!" And my response was, "I really want to marry you too!" So, he sat me down on the couch and said "Mary Karen Hubbard, will you be my wife?" And I said "Yes!".

Let me back up a little. A few days or maybe a week or two ago, he had mentioned something about us getting married September 24, that it was a good weekend, with all the stuff coming up in October, and my lease running out on my apartment November 1, and so on. I asked him if he was serious, and that he if was, I kind of needed to know! At that point, he said it was just a thought, but perhaps, if he felt led. So, I let it go, and decided to wait on God. Then, what do you know! Totally out of the blue, he surprised me and asked me to marry him!

So, here we are back at last Sunday. After I said yes, he then said, "So, I was pretty serious about September 24". So, we called everyone, his family, my family and a few of our closest friends and announced the good news! Everyone is so excited for us, even my children, which is the biggest blessing of all!

Monday, Jeff had a meeting to go to, so we planned on going ring shopping Tuesday, after we both got off work at 5:00. We totally planned on starting at Sam's club, to see what they had in our price range. But, that day, I had 3 people tell me good things about Zales. So, as Jeff and I were having dinner at Mongolian Barbeque, I mentioned that 3 peopled mentioned Zales. He confirmed it by saying that he just had a feeling we were not to start at Sam's Club. So, off to Zales we went.

We walked in the store, were greeted by the friendliest sales people, who directed us right to the color and style of ring I described (white gold, princess cut diamond). I saw this beautiful set (engagement and wedding band). They pulled it out, I tried it on, and 'lo and behold, it fit perfectly!!! And wow!!! I looked just perfect on my hand. They let me wear it as we looked around at other rings and sets. I tried on a few other ones, but nothing stood out like the one I had on. And, it was in Jeff's price range!!! Not wanting to jump at the first set we saw, though, we told the sales ladies we should shop around. They were so great, they wrote down the specs for the first set I tried, and we left. We went into Fred Meyer across the way. We were not greeted upon entrance into the store. When we were finally greeted, the sales lady didn't act like she really wanted to sell us diamonds. It was hard getting her to pull anything out of the glass counter. And when she did, they were way out of Jeff's price range, and not exactly what I wanted.

Jeff and I walked out of the store, went over to the bench nearby and sat down. He said that he had peace about the first set I tried. I said I did too, and it was exactly what I invisioned, and it was the right price. We walked back into Zales, and told the ladies we wanted that first set. They pulled it right out, cleaned it and I handed it to Jeff so he could put it on my finger.

This may not be the traditional proposal, but it was just perfect for me! I couldn't be happier!

Oh, you may be asking...if you know us, and have heard us talking about September 23 being the date! Jeff went to an Emmaus board meeting Monday night and announced our engagement. Someone there mentioned having a Friday evening wedding. Jeff had peace about it, came home and told me, and I have peace about it too! Plus it would give us time with family and friends on Saturday, that we wouldn't have if we got married on Saturday. So, the official date is Friday, September 23, 2005 at 8:00 in the evening!

The Question from Jeff's Blog

I (Jeff) would have posted this earlier, but the schedule was getting crunched again. A lot of people have heard this news, but for those who haven't...

It is amazing how God will give you something that you weren't sure you ever thought that you'd be allowed to get, or in the scheme of things He gives you something even greater. That's the way that I feel about Mary. God gave me her to take care of and He gave her me to take care of while we are on the earth. Well, things have progressed along well in the last 8+ months. Enough so that I was getting the feeling that a question was to be posed. I was waiting for God to let us know when it was time, and he answered. I can't say that I can pinpoint what it was, other than questions asked by people, a series of events recently, and the feeling of peace that only comes when your will and God's align. My only thing was that I didn't have a ring. However, when I sat her down to ask her to marry me, I already knew that she didn't need a ring then and there (we have since purchased a ring). Anyway, I asked Mary to marry me and she said yes. So we are to marry on 23 September 2005. Yes in about two and a half months we will tie the knot. There are many reasons which deal with our schedule for the month of October and the fact that her lease runs out on her apartment 1 November. So we have run into a time crunch. Of course, we are looking at a rather small low key wedding so that we don't have to go into too much debt. I'm low key anyway so we aren't trying to get to wild with this.

So we are getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fourth of July

I thought I'd take a moment and write about this past 4th.

It was Jeff and my first 4th as a couple. Unfortunately, he is on evenings this week, so we did not get to watch any fireworks together. He did end up getting the evening of Friday the 1st off, so we hung out together then. And during the mornings and early afternoons on the weekend. So, on the 4th, after I saw Jeff off to work, I headed to Boyne Falls to pick up Karlie from her dad's. I had called over there to see if Kaleb wanted to go with me as well, but he had plans with his "girlfriend" Breann.

Karlie and I headed over to Boyne City, to my mom's. My brother, Cory, and his wife, Jenny, and their two boys, Cory Jr. and Gary, and Jenny's two sisters, Kim and Tiffany, were there. After gathering all the necessary blankets, chairs, and snacks, we headed over to Veteran's Memorial Park.

There was a big craft sale, as there is every year, which is where you buy stuff you don't need, but like to have to decorate your walls, yards, gardens, bodies, hair, etc. I like to look around at all the hand-made crafts, but when I think about buying any of them, I realize I could make the same thing for much cheaper. (But, I don't do that either, due to time-or lack thereof.)

We did buy a Bayou Billy snow cone. Except they didn't call it a snow cone, and right now I can't remember their name for the shaved ice, covered in flavored syrup. At this booth, however, you could choose and apply your own flavor of syrup, and you could mix them up. The girls chose bubble gum and strawberry. Very interesting-the bubble gum over-powered the strawberry. I chose Green Apple and Strawberry. It was a good mix. Not a pretty color, but a good flavor.

Before we headed to the craft sale, we laid our blanket out and set our chairs to mark our spot on the grass. It was a cloudy day, but the temperature was just right. Not too hot, not too cold. We arrived fairly early, so we got a good spot to see the fireworks.

My oldest daughter, Trisha, and her fiance, Ben, showed up, with Kaleb. We all took Cory Jr. to the playground. It was obvious he's been there several times. At 20 months old, he knew his way around that wooden play set! He even went down the big, green, enclosed, slide all by himself! I was amazed, frankly. I don't think my kids went down big slides like that, all by themselves, at 20 months old! But, he did, and he came out laughing! It was great!

I didn't see very many people that I knew. I was surprised. I thought I'd see more, but there were so many people there. I'm sure if I walked around more, I may have run into more people I used to know. It's been a while since I've hung out in Boyne City!

The fireworks started at 10:30, and were great! They were big and bright, right over head! They lasted 45 minutes or so. Karlie and Kaleb had run off with their friends, so we waited a few minutes after the show was over for them, then we all headed home, in the never ending line of cars!

I lost another post!!!

I noticed the other day as I was making some minor changes to my setting in blogger, that I lost one of my posts! It was in there, Jeff had even read it! It was about our trip to Alive and stuff. So, I am confused as to why it disappeared! I didn't make any major changes to my settings that would have made it disappear. Jeff checked into it and he didn't see anything and couldn't figure it out either! Oh well! It's gone now.

Anyway, it basically said we had a great time at the Alive Festival in Ohio. We took 4 girls from the FUMC youth group. Amidst all the dust and heat, and nasty porta-johns, it still was awesome! Everyone in our group got to see some of their most favorite Christian bands. My favorites were Audio Adrenaline, Newsboys, Third Day, Roper, Building 429, Reliant K, Switchfoot and Thousand Foot Krutch. There were several more. David Crowder and Chris Tomlin were the worship leaders and they both were fabulous as well. There were several speakers, including David Nassar, Laurie Polich, Phil Joel (of the Newsboys), and Ron Luce (founder of ATF).

Jeff and I bought David Nassar's books, "A Call to Die", and "A Call to Grace". They are both 40 day devotionals. We started "A Call to Die" as our new devotional to read to each other over the phone and when we are alone (since it is an everyday thing). It has been really good for us. It discusses and challenges you to die to your selfish, fleshly desires and live for God. Jeff and I have given up kissing!!! Not just for the 40 days, but until our wedding day!!! How awesome is that! It's been DIFFICULT I must say, not to kiss him, cuz he's so darn cute, and godly, and wonderful! But, we are committed to not kissing until our wedding day, because, it is one thing, one sacrifice, one fleshly desire, we both have. And plus, it just makes us want to go too far physically, and we don't want to do that! This will just make us stronger and God will honor and bless our future marriage for waiting!

I guess that pretty much says all I said in my other post I lost!!! It's a little different of course, cuz today is a different day! But, in a nut shell, it's the same! LOL.

God loves you and so do I!

(The photo is from the Alive Festival. It is Toby Mac)

Adding photos to my blog posts???

How fun! I just read that you can now add photos to your blog posts! So, I had to try it since I am sitting here at Jeff's while he is at work, playing on the computer. Notice that I added a pic to my blog page and to my profile??? I figured out how to do that all on my own! LOL. I just went to flickr.com and they have a spot right there to copy the URL for the photos. How cool!

So, here is a photo....

Oh! I see how it works! That is fun and cool! Now we will see how it looks acutally posted!

Ta ta for now!

Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." That is what Psalm 37:4 says. This scripture has meant so much to me over the past few years, and it keeps coming up to this very day, so I thought I would share.

About three years ago or so, I had been dating this guy, who I really, really liked. He ended up getting back with his ex-wife (for the time being-they are not together now), and my heart was broken. I felt rejected and was dealing with depression (and I am not a depressed person!) Well, my heart break only made me draw closer to God. Right before we started dating, I had begun journaling (in a notebook, not on the web) and my journaling really helped me sort things out, and see things in a whole new light. One day as I was pouring my heart out to God in my journal, I noticed that on each page, there was a scripture, and on this particular page, Psalm 37:4 was quoted. I stopped and read it and re-read it and re-read it. It was as if God was trying to get it through my head-"Mary, if you delight yourself in me, I will give you the desires of your heart." At that time in my life, I was being selfish and I just wanted God to bring this guy back into my life, because that's what I thought I wanted. So, I thought if I "delight" myself in God, then He will bring him back to me.

Well then, God laid on my heart several books to read: Boy Meets Girl, by Josh Harris; Choosing God's Best, by Dr. Don Rauniker; Wild at Heart, Sacred Romance and The Journey to Desire, all by John Elderidge; Secrets of the Vine, by David Wilkinson (I think) and the Prayer of Hannah by the same author (he's the one that wrote the Prayer of Jabez as well, which I had already read at an earlier time in my life). Over the next several months I read all of these books. The one message I kept getting over and over, was that what I thought I wanted, was not what I wanted at all. God knows what's best for us, and even when we think we know what we want, when you "delight yourself in the Lord", He will GIVE YOU the desires of your heart!!! Your desires WILL BE God's desires. You won't want to settle for anything less than God's perfect will for your life.

I can't take credit for this revelation. At a recent Grace By Night, Kelly spoke about this very scripture. She brought to light that when we "delight ourselves in the Lord" our desires will be God's desires. At that moment, I got it! I understood what it meant, because I had lived it!

When Jeff and I started our courtship (7 months ago now) we both discovered God had given the other this very scripture long before we met. And it keeps popping up in sermons, conversations and situations. Yesterday, while at a graduation open house, the mom of the grad passed out slips of paper for everyone to write a note, a verse, a thought or a memory to the graduate on. Being that it was a spur of the moment thing, Jeff and I had a little trouble coming up with something. But, I kept hearing over and over Psalm 37:4, and couldn't ignore it. So, I began writing it down on the piece of paper. Jeff looked over to see what I was writing, and he said, "That's exactly what I was thinking!" The mom of the grad said, "Great minds think alike!"

As Jeff and I were on our way home from church this morning, we were talking about that moment. Jeff said that perhaps the reason we both heard Psalm 37:4, was because she needed to read it. But, then he went on to say that perhaps the reason that scripture keeps popping up for us everywhere is because there are more desires of our hearts that God is going to give us, as we continue to delight ourselves in Him. I agreed.

Six Months

Well, Jeff wrote a post about making it past six months in our relationship, so I thought I would add my two cents!

Wow! was Jeff's remark, and is mine as well. It has been so amazing. This whole time together, and we have no doubt this is a God thing! We still get along really really well, and are building our relationship with God in the center. We pray together everyday that we can, when schedules allow. We try to go to both churches on Sunday when we can, and other services. And we make sure we are spiritually fed everyday!

We are praying about which ministries to stay involved in, and which ones we may need to cut back on, since we want to focus on our callings. We both know we are called to youth ministry and Emmaus. And Jeff is feeling led into ministering as a Pastor. So, we are praying for confirmation and direction. It's all very exciting to see where God is going to lead us!

Jeff also made comment to how he looks back at his spiritual walk every six months to see how he's grown, and that he's looked back on the past six months in our relationship to see how its grown. And again his comment was Wow! That's so cool! And I am doing the same thing...looking back at the past six months in my spiritual walk, and all I can say is Wow! God has blessed me abundantly financially, and that is due to my obedience with my finances over the last six months. I have tithed regularly, and been sticking to my budget, and taking control of the income God has given me, as opposed to letting it control me.

So, God has blessed the obedience, which he says in His Word. That has been a hard lesson for me, obedience. I have almost always followed my flesh, meaning, doing what I want, instead of what God's will is for my life. And almost always, it has meant heartache, financial ruin, being abused physically, or some other destructive consequence in my life. Not that God caused these things to happen, they happened because of my choices, of not listening to God and obeying His Word.

But, now! The last six months of obedience (and no, I haven't been perfectly obedient in everything-no one is) but, just trying my hardest to be obedient to God's word, instead of giving into my flesh, has been a real blessing! I can see God moving in my life, in my finances, in my relationship with Jeff, in my kid's lives (even tho they don't know it yet), in my ministries (youth and Emmaus specifically). It's so awesome!

And the fact that my spiritual life has grown tremendously over the last six months, only goes to show that Jeff and I are on the right track with God. I've read over and over, that one way to tell if a relationship is from God, is if your spiritual life is growing or not. And I can see, and I thing others can testify that both of ours are. So, Praise God for that!

I pray for any of those reading my blog, that if you are in a relationship, dating or courting, that you would ask yourself, Is my walk with God growing in this relationship? Am I getting to know God more? Do I pray more or less now? Do I read the Word more or less, or even the same? (by the way, I need to work on the reading God's Word more!)

I pray that every relationship would be blessed, be of God. I am here to say it is the most awesome thing! And I thank God everyday for bringing Jeff and I together!

Women By Grace

I'm sitting here, at Jeff's again, playing on the computer. I am actually listening to past internet radio broadcasts from womenbygrace.com, which is hosted by Kelly McCausey and Sandra Jensen, from Gaylord Community Church (my church). It is an awesome website, and the radio show is really good, interesting and enlightening. I've been listening to the last 5 or 6 broadcasts and have gotten a lot of good guidance, advise and instruction. I encourage any readers of my blog, especially female readers, to check it out. I especially liked the broadcast about self-image. I suffer from a low self-esteem, which I work on and try to improve upon everyday, and this interview really made a lot of sense to me.

Kelly and Sandra interview various people, from all over the country, on different topics. They interview Christian authors, comedians, and even local women in the community.

In addition, the website has message boards, where you can ask questions and get good insight from awesome women of God, business women, and stay at home moms, who work out of their home. There are lots of other links to lots of other women's web sights as well, which I have not explored yet, but plan on it soon.

So, check it out ladies!

God bless!

Just some more stuff on my mind

Here I am at Jeff's house, while he is working evenings still. I am just hanging out here, until I have to go into town for they youth worship service at FUMC this evening. Part of me is wanting to take a nap, since I didn't get a very good sleep last night, due to being woken up at 3 am by my neighbors screaming and swearing at each other! Ah, the joys of apartment living. But, most of me wants to just sit in front of the computer (which I am obviously doing) since mine is not working any more. So, here I sit.

Last night when I was here, I played cards on Yahoo (Pyramids), while listening to Rob Bell's sermons from the Mars Hill Bible Church web site. It was relaxing, fun and interesting all at the same time. One of the things Jeff and I have noticed, pretty much since we've been together (over 6 months now), and have been attending 2 different churches, and have been listening to Rob Bell's teachings, is that they all are connected. For instance, this morning, Reverend Naile from FUMC, was teaching about the Sabbath, and how in this busy, busy world, we need to take a Sabbath from all the busyness in our lives. With cell phones, and PDA's and computers, and lap tops, we are constantly in touch with other people, or doing something. How often do we just stop, for a few hours, or a whole day? Most of us can probably say, not very often.

Rob Bell said this very same thing in one of his recent messages, and this morning as Jeff and I were listening to Rev. Naile, we both looked at each other and smiled. Then on our way home, we discussed how interesting it is that the messages we have been hearing are all on the same wave length. That just goes to show that they are from God, that God is using these people, Rob Bell, Rev. Naile and Pastor Steve, and others, to speak into our lives. Not just mine and Jeff's either.

Jeff and I are so revved up about sharing and speaking into others lives lately, and the things we end up sharing, are usually something we have heard from one of the messages by one of the above-mentioned people. God wants to and has always wanted to speak to us (his creation), to reach us. I think he is trying to tell us something...slow down, spend some time alone, so I can speak to you.

Another one of Rob Bell's messages is from one of his Nooma videos, which Jeff and I both have written about in our blogs. It is called Noise. It is in this video in which Rob teaches that God wants to speak to us and that we need to turn off all the Noise in our lives so we can hear God.

I don't have a lot of Noise in my life. I don't have a cell phone, I don't have cable tv, and I don't have the internet at home. Mostly because I have not been able to afford any of these things. But, I have come to like living without them. Especially tv. There is so much trash on tv, its terrible. I can't hardly turn it on anymore, without some sexual remark, or half-naked person being on there! Who needs that crap??? Who needs their minds to be polluted with more junk? No one! Satan uses tv, the internet, music, and video games to get us to look at sexual immorality as good, drunkeness as fun, etc. He gets us to think that taking God out of schools and government is the right thing to do! It's not! We have to stop letting Satan win! Not that everyone is letting Satan win, and I know in the end he won't win! God is in control, but we, God's creation, need to be more proactive in not filling our minds with the junk of this world. Because, no matter how strong we thing we are, or how immune to it we think we are, the more junk we let in, the more Satan can use to tear us down, and hit us in our weak spots.

So, with all that said, I pray that whoever reads this, will just start taking half a day to be still and hear God, spend some time alone with Him. He loves each and everyone of us sooooo much! He just wants to spend some time alone with you. Why don't you give Him a moment or two a day, since he gave us the most precious gift of all....His Son, so that we can have eternal life in heaven with Him.

Be blessed!

I think I'm freaking out!!!

I posted a blog a while back about my kids and how I freak out more as my oldest daughter reaches milestones in her journey through life, as opposed to my youngest. Well, I think I was wrong! Karlie will be 13 on June 1st and I think I am freaking out about it! Not majorly or anything, but when I stop and think about it, I could cry. And I have cried! It is really bothering me that my baby is not a little girl any more! I don't have "young" children anymore. They are all teenagers and adults now! And to top it off, my oldest is officially engaged! I'm so happy for her, she is marrying a great guy and I think they will have a great life together, but MY OLDEST IS GETTING MARRIED AND MY BABY IS TURNING 13!!! Ok, I'm really not freaking out, really.

But,does all this mean that....I am old???? I don't feel old, and most people say I don't look old....but I would have to be on my way to old if I have a daughter old enough to get married and my baby is 13. Not to mention the two boys in the middle! Kaleb will be 15 in December...so that's drivers training and girls and all that stuff. And Brandon...he's 20! He's off working with a friend in another town right now, painting, doing his own thing. These are my children!!! They aren't supposed to grow up and become adults. Not yet!

All this could be hitting me because they live with their dad. And perhaps I feel as if I've missed out on some of their growing up these last few months, since Karlie went to live with her dad so she could go to Concord Academy. I've been having thoughts lately about my kids, and what kind of mother I am. I am a part time mom basically. I see Kaleb and Karlie every other weekend. I see Trisha on and off, probably more than Kaleb and Karlie since Ben lives near Gaylord. And Brandon, I rarely see! But, Kaleb and Karlie, I should know what they ate for lunch, when they have a headache, if they brush their teeth before they go to bed or not, and I don't. The everyday things, my kids everyday lives, I'm not involved in. That's not a mom. I'm more like an Aunt or big sister or something.

This is not where I intended my blog to go. Not the 2nd paragraph anyway. But, it has been on my mind the last few days, weeks, not sure. But, it's been on my mind lately. I really want to be involved in my kids everyday lives.

Jeff and I are praying about this, and I know God is in control, and we've left it in his care and keeping, so I know it will all work out the way it's supposed to! Just be praying for my kids to be protected during these delicate adolescent years, until they come to live with me again!

My Kids

I have a lot on my mind, specifically regarding my kids....all 4 of them! First of all, my oldest, Trisha, is getting married! For real!!! October 22 is the date. So, she has been reading countless books and magazines on the subject, which is great! She's getting all kinds of ideas and it looks like she will do just fine at organizing the event. She commented to me a few days ago, that she is glad she was in charge of planning and organizing the dances at school. It makes this seem not so hard. I am very proud of her! She and Ben will be getting married at the First United Methodist Church, here in Gaylord (aka Jeff's church). I am so excited about that! It is a very pretty church, and great set up for weddings. Rev. Naile is gracious enough to allow her to use the church due to her affiliation with Jeff. God is so good!

Trisha and Ben have known each other since 7th or 8th grade. They were "boyfriend/girlfriend" in 8th grade. They split up, did their seperate things, and then reunited after Trisha graduated high school (somewhere in there). I always knew she would marry Ben, as did his parents. Funny how we know these things, us parents! We will be dress shopping coming up May 7th. That will be fun and exciting. She doesn't have a ring yet though. They have an idea of the ring Ben will get her, it's just a matter of getting it.

That's the exciting news about Trisha. Next is Brandon. He got into some trouble last month, and is paying the consequences. It seems he is learning from his mistake which is good. I just hope he remembers the consequences so he doesn't fall back into the things that got him in trouble in the first place. He says he is making changes, changing friends, so he doesn't start doing the things he was again. But, living under his dad's roof, doesn't help. His dad does those very things himself, so one can only imagine where Brandon learned it from. Which leads me to my other kids, Kaleb and Karlie.

They are living under the same roof as Brandon, so they too are being led by example, into things that, if they follow in their father's footsteps, may get them into trouble in the future. I cannot allow that! So, I am going to ask them to come live with me. If they choose to live with me of their own free will, Friend of the Court will honor that decision. If they don't want to for whatever reason, then I will fight for them. Yes, it's more fun at their dad's. He has bought them 4-wheelers, dirt-bikes, a trampolene, PlayStations, drum sets, you name it. All the materialistic stuff. So, yes, it is more fun there. But, I hope they see the difference in material things and living a godly life, which is what I try my best to do. They have commented to me in the recent past, that they can see the wrong things their dad does...they have seen his stuff first hand, they've admitted to me. Kaleb called his dad a hypocrite to me a couple of weeks ago during a venting session he had. So, as their mother, I am going to step in and hopefully, "save" my kids from a troublesome future, before it's too late.

So, please be praying for me, and them, and Jeff, as we begin this "battle" for my kids. Jeff and I have some fears about this and how the four of us will get along under the same roof in the future. Jeff keeps telling me not to fear about this, but to trust God to lead us through this phase. God is encouraging Jeff through things that he hears from sermons and bible passages that he reads. So he tells me everything, could be bumpy, but it will work out.

It's One A.M. and I Can't Sleep!!!

Why can't I sleep??? Because I took a two hour nap this evening!!! I have a cold, and Jeff had an Emmaus Board Meeting, so I slept while he was at that, and now I can't fall asleep, and we are getting up at 6:00 am to read our book together, over the phone, like we usually do, when his schedule allows. But, as I was lying there, trying to fall asleep, I just kept thinking that if I get up and post a blog, it might help me get sleepy. So, here I am, one a.m., typing a blog.

I don't have a specific topic in mind really. Do I ever??? Once in awhile I come to blogger.com with a specific thing I want to get out there, but not tonight. Oh well.

One of the things that comes to mind is...I killed my phone!!! Last night as Jeff was driving home after spending time with me at my apartment, we were talking, as we always do. And I have been using my handy dandy head set Jeff purchased for me, which has made it much easier to manuever around the apartment while talking. I tend to multi-task, which is what I was doing as we were talking last night, and I dropped my phone! Which, I have done before, but this time, it died! And poor Jeff didn't know what happened, because on his end was just static, then it went dead. Then he tried to call me back, and the call went straight to my voice mail. I had placed the handset in the cradle to see if charging would help at all, and as I was doing that, Jeff tried to call again, and it rang that time, but when I picked it up, I still could not get any buttons to push. I tried opening the hand set to see if I actually broke something inside, or just knocked something loose, but was unsuccesful getting it open. So, then I thought I would sign into Yahoo Messenger or MSN Messenger, so when Jeff got home, hopefully he would see me online and know I was ok. Well, that didn't work either!!! We had uninstalled my firewall, and reinstalled it, and so for some unknown reason, it was preventing me from opening either Messenger service. Next thing I know, Jeff is knocking at my door!!! It was locked, so I went and unlocked it and his eyes were huge...and so I rambled off what happened with the phone. Poor guy. He was almost home too, but because he loves me, he came all the way back to town to be sure I was ok. And I was! Just killed my phone! And because he loves me, he bought me a new one today! (I don't have the cash at the moment.)

It's a cool phone too! It has fun little bells and whistles on it. So, after we hung up from this evening's conversation, I programmed all my family and friends numbers in the phone book, and set up my voice mail access number, and set my ring tone and volume. The phones these days! All the technology! It's amazing.

Well, that took a whole 15 minutes to type. I just yawned once. A sign of getting sleepy? I hope so!

Tomorrow, Jeff is taking his truck in for the 100,000 mile check up! I will pick him up at Gaylord Ford at 7:45 a.m. so he doesn't have to sit at Gaylord Ford waiting for service. They are squeezing him in, so who knows what time they will actually get to it. He said to me tonight, that he is glad do to have someone to help him do this kind of stuff now. :)

Let's see...we've got some things we are praying about, so if you blog readers want to lift up in prayer with us, here they are: Upcoming decisions-God's timing; whether Jeff is to lead a certain bible study group for some youth in the UM Church; if I am to be a part of the Chrysalis board/team; my children; his sister and their new baby they are adopting; unsaved/back-slidden family and friends; and our health and jobs.

It's almost 1:30...another yawn...still not sleepy enough to hit the sack...

Wednesday is my sister's birthday! She will be 43!

My friend Angel started blogging, so that will be interesting to read!

This weekend is ATF!!! It is going to be so much fun! I cannot wait! And Jeff is going with us (GCC youth). Yeah!!! It is so awesome to see so many teens worshipping God all at the same time, in the same place.

I know God is going to use Jeff and I for youth ministry. That is another thing to pray about...His guidance and direction on exactly where and how He wants to use us, for youth, or whatever ministry! His Kingdom! Doesn't matter!

Two sneezes....still not sleepy! Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I know 6:00 am is going to be a booger!!!!! I guess I will try to fall asleep again! You may see another post from me tonight if sleep doesn't come quickly!

Oh, check out my webpage if you haven't done so in the past 24 hours. Jeff helped me update it some. Still needs tons of work, but it's a start!

Have a fabulous evening, or day, whenever you are reading this! And remember, God loves you and so do I!

Night! (Hopefully!)

A Response to Tishia's Comment

This is a response to my friend Tishia's comment on my previous post "I hope I don't lose this blog post".

Hey Tishia! Isn't it weird that we only live 4 doors down from each other, yet we talk more on the phone, or IM'ing, or email, and now blog posts, than in person. We need to work on that! Anyway!

I know you have felt disconnected and cut off from God lately, and I know that you are struggling with Caleb immensely. Jeff and I have been praying for you every night. I want to help you so badly, I just don't know how, other than prayer. I know, to some degree, what you are going through with Caleb, as I went through stuff like that with my Kaleb, when he was younger. The bright side is, he has out grown some of it...but I did go through hell through 6th grade or so. It is tough!!! And especially since you are a single mom and doing it all by yourself. I feel for you, I really do. So, how can I help you get through these rough times, till Caleb outgrows some of it? I don't know, other than to be here as your friend, and to try to encourage you to trust in God. I told my Kaleb just last night, as he was crying to me about his dad, and the stuff his dad does, to pray, pray to God, and give it all up to Him. I told him that's the only way I've gotten through all the crap I've gone through, is through prayer. I also told him not to expect God to answer his prayers overnight, or the way he thinks they should be answered. God is God and he knows what is best for us, even though things don't seem like they are getting better right away, or in our timing, but God is working on it! He's behind the scenes doing things we don't even know are happening to help us out. So be patient, and don't give up on God. He loves you as much, no, more than you love Caleb! And just as you want what's best for Caleb, so does God want what's best for you and for your son. Anytime you want to pray, or just hang out and talk, you know you can come over, or call, or whatever! I am here, and I know Jeff is too for you. He reads your blogs, and he suggests praying for you, and he is even reading up on ADHD kids, because he wants to try to help! And so do I! We love you Tishia! And so does God! Just be patient (I know that's the hardest thing to do!). But God will supply all your needs and He will help you out!

I love you! And I am here for you!

Your friend,

Mary

I hope I don't lose this blog post!

Yesterday, I spent an hour typing a blog post. It was a good post too! Well, I went to change the font and when I highlighted my text, it all disappeared. I tried everything to get it back, but it was gone. I was so mad!!! This post just won't be the same. Oh well, maybe that one wasn't supposed to get out there for some reason, and this one is. Who knows! Only God. Anywho.

Jeff and I had a great weekend! We got lots of QT together (that would be Quality Time). Friday, we did our usual Friday night date thing. We went to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's and then grocery shopping. Whooo hooo! But we both said to each other that we don't care what we do as long as we are together. But, then! After grocery shopping, we went to a co-worker's of Jeff's who was having a bon-fire in his driveway. Bon-fire, driveway, mid March Northern Michigan???? Yep! It was great! He has this portable fire pit that he set up in his driveway, and we all gathered around it and had some good conversation. It was nice meeting some more of the people Jeff works with.

Then, yesterday morning (after I typed my hour long post and it disappeared!) Jeff came and picked me up and we did our usual Saturday morning thing-laundry. We are still working on laundry as we speak (type). But then! Karlie's play was Saturday night. So, we left for Boyne City around 4:15 to meet my oldest daughter and her friend Heather at Red Mesa Grille for dinner. After dinner Trisha and Heather headed up to the Soo (Sault Ste. Marie) for a concert that both their boyfriend's were playing in. Jeff and I headed to the play.

Karlie did so well in her play. I am so proud of her! She had one of the bigger parts in the play, and a solo line in one of the songs. She did great! Jeff took some video and pics of her with his digital camera. I will get them posted on my website.


So, the weekend was super great, except for one minor glitch. Not minor really either. Saturday before we left for Boyne City, Trisha called me at Jeff's. She proceeded to inform me that my 14 year old son, Kaleb, broke his collar bone Wednesday snow boarding. And she proceeded to inform me that my 19 year old son, has a court date Tuesday for some trouble he got into a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say, I am ticked at their father for not letting me know these things. And Trisha told me she wasn't supposed to say anything about it. Well, I wonder why that is??????!!!!! I don't have to wonder! It is because my ex wants to keep these things from me because he knows his son is following in his footsteps, and I told him and the Friend of the Court, that would happen when we were working out custody issues when we got divorced over 4 years ago. But, no, he had to buy my children with expensive dirt bikes, 4-wheelers, trampolenes, video game boxes and games, and whatever else they want. And now my son is in trouble. So, here I am ranting on my blog. Jeff and I are making a concentrated effort to pray more specifically for my ex and my kids, and we are trying to think of ways to do stuff over in Boyne more, so I can be more involved with my kids. I feel like they are just floundering around over there with no supervision, and no sense of what's right and what's wrong. Thank God my daughters are on the right track so far, attending church and church activities, and hanging out with Christian friends. I just have to keep praying for them, and placing them in God's hands, and praying for protection for them. We will see what God directs for us and them in the near future. But, if you could all just pray for them, that they would be protected and that God would send divine intervention into my sons lives so they won't get into more trouble, and so they would give their lives over to God, and see how wonderful being under His covering is!


Well, that certainly isn't what I had in my post I lost!!! But, like I said, maybe that one wasn't supposed to get posted and this one is!


This morning Jeff picked me up for the 8:45 service at Gaylord Community. The message was about covering up our sin and how when we sin we sometimes want to hide, hide from God and hide from His people. Then we went to the 10:30 service at FUMC and guess what the sermon was about as well???? Hiding from our sin. Imagine that! I know Jeff is typing more on this subject in his blog as we speak (type), so I will leave the details to him. But that just goes to show that God is everywhere, and the church is one body. All Christian, bible-based churches. It fascinates me!


Well, time to switch the laundry!


Have a blessed and fabulous day!

My boyfriend is helping me figure stuff out

So, here we are at my apartment, and Jeff (cute boy in the choir) is showing me how to email my blog posts to my blog. So, this is a test! It is only a test. If it were an actual post, I would have gone to my blog :)

I'm On-line Again!

God is soooo good to me! My computer died!!!! I mean died! So, my boss goes to a garage sale that the Rotary (I think) was having, and picks up a free computer! Her husband takes it home, and gets it loaded up with everything for me! Awesome! And then Jeff (who is wonderfully smart!) gets my dsl service connected, when the person from Verizon couldn't figure it out!!!! Jeff is the BEST! So, I can post blogs more frequently now! Yeah!!!!!

Let's see what else! A group of about 50 or so people from Gaylord Community Church went skiing last Friday! What a blast! Now, let me remind you (or inform you if you don't know me that well) that I hadn't been skiing in like 14 years!!!! So, I wasn't sure if or what I'd remember! But once I got going, stuff was coming back to me. Wonderful Jeff stayed with me on the "bunny hill" the whole time, but now that I got my feet wet again, I will hit the next level of slopes!

Well, now that I am on-line and have posted my first blog from my "new" computer, I should hit the sack because Jeff and I are getting up at six am to read out of our book, "Choosing God's Best". It is about courtship vs. dating.

Have a fabulous night (or day-depending on when you read this!) God bless!

Just Stuff

I haven't posted a blog in a while, and I don't know what this one will be about exactly. I don't have a specific topic in mind, but just felt like writing. Jeff is on midnights and is at work right now. Speaking of Jeff, everything with us is still going fabulously well! It's going on 4 months now, and our relationship just keeps getting better! We know each other pretty well now, and we are getting passed the "puppy love" stage. Oh, we still have fun and get giddy and act like teenagers at times, but the commitment is there. It's still amazes me!

We've been listening to Rob Bell, the Pastor of a church in the Grand Rapids area called Mars Hill Church. He is a younger guy, probably early 30's in age I'd guess, if not younger. He is soooo awesome! Jeff has a set of short messages on DVD by Rob, that are sooooo good. They are so deep spiritually, yet presented so well, that people of all ages can relate. Jeff and I have gone through all 10 DVDs with the goal of showing them to various groups, and then having a discussion time afterwards. We both have come up with some questions and/or some thoughts to expound on for each of the messages, that we want to share with others. It will be interesting to see how God uses this to reach others. Jeff would like to use these messages for a class at Tabernacle at his church, and I would like to share them with the Revolution, the 20 something's at my church. So, we will see what doors God opens for us.

Tonight Jeff and I went to Indian River, to listen to my daughter's boyfriend's band play. Actually, it's my daughter's boyfriend's brother's band. Ben (Trisha's beau) plays drums for his brother, Andy. They play rockin' sorta worship music. Andy wrote all of the songs, sings lead and plays guitar. He is awesome and has an awesome voice. His website is stefanicband.com.
His first CD will be out in 2 or 3 weeks he said.

Well, tomorrow is church! Since Jeff is on midnights, we are going to his church at 10:30, then mine at 11:30. We will probably be a few minutes late to mine, but that 's ok.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I am getting sleepy and should hit the sack. Night!

Valentine's Day Surprises

Well, well, well! Did I mention I am dating the best man in the whole entire world!???! His Valentine's gift to me was perfect!!! A dozen red, gorgeous, roses, in a vase, with at Ty Beenie Baby Bear tied to it with a pink ribbon, with red hearts around it's neck, and the card attached to the bear has a poem entitled "Truly" and reads like this:

If you just take a look at me
My feelings are easy to see
It is simple, plain and true
So obvious that I LOVE YOU!

Isn't that the sweetest??? And to top it off, Jeff wrote a personal note to me on the card in the flowers, that was just perfect! And he personally delivered them to the office. I wasn't here, however, at the moment he brought them in. But, when I walked in my office and saw them on my desk, I blushed, and smiled the biggest smile EVER! And I even laughed out loud. Jeff did come back though, and he was soooo cute! He stood in the doorway of my office, with a cute little grin, just waiting for my reaction. I got up and kissed him and hugged him, and I think I said something like it was perfect! What a great guy!!! I couldn't ask for anything more!

But, God of course knows my needs! I got a call from a local bank, in which I went to an open house for on Friday....a schmooze fest. (I like to call it that! It's PR work.) Anyway, I entered a drawing, and I won a free front end alignment at one of the local tire places. How cool is that! Jeff and I were saying just the other day that we think my car might need one! God is soooooooo good!!!!!!

So, I pray that everyone's Valentine's Day is as blessed as mine! And for those who are wanting a relationship, I pray that you just continue to wait patiently on God, and He will supply ALL your needs at the exact moment you need them.

God bless YOU, everyone!

Blessings and More Blessings

I just wanted to get this post out there, so I am staying a few minutes after work to do just that!

I have been so blessed lately, I can't contain it! (Words from a Praise song we sing at church!) But, it's how I feel! God is so good to me, and I certainly don't deserve it.

First of all, God blessed me with Jeff :) You can read my previous posts about Jeff and I! But, he truly is a blessing from God. He loves me the way I've always imagined being loved by a man. And even after 3 months, we still get compliments about how well suited we are , what a cute couple, etc. And, to top it off, my kids really like him, and are excited for us, for me.

Secondly, God has been moving in my finances. I got a great raise at work, a good income tax refund...which brings me to my 3rd blessing...

I got a new car! Not a new, new car, but a new, used car. A 1996 Dodge Intrepid. Now, compared to the ghetto, 1993 Taurus I was driving...it seems new! It looks good and runs good. Although, the windshield wiper broke! The tip snapped off. But, since Jeff loves me, he bought me new windshield wipers...and put them on for me too! What a sweetheart!

Speaking of sweethearts...Valentine's Day is coming up on Monday. I wonder what surprises my sweetheart will have for me??!! I think it will be fun to see! We are going to the Valentine's Banquet that the youth is putting on as a fund-raiser for their trip to Acquire the Fire at the Palace of Auburn Hills in April. It's a 50's theme, so it will be interesting to try to dress up for it. I told Jeff he should slick his hair back...I don't think he was too thrilled about that! LOL.

Other than that...everything in my life is awesome, and I only have God to thank for it!

Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Childhood Memories

Granny Hubbard went to be with Jesus, January 18, 2005, sometime right around when I posted my previous blog about her. Then yesterday, one of my co-worker's Uncle passed away. He was 79, had some sort of mental handicap all of his life, and his passing was quite a surprise. He had diabetes, but other than that, he seemed fairly healthy. They are saying it was a massive heart attack. So, that got 2 of my co-workers and myself talking about family, and kids, which lead us to reminescing (sp) about our childhoods. I tend not to talk about my childhood very much, because of the bad stuff that happened to me and my sister when we were kids. But, today, I was remembering stuff I used to do, things I used to enjoy and so on, and it was all quite good and made me happy to think about! As we were talking, I said to the other 2 girls, "We should write down our childhood memories now, so our kids and others can enjoy them too someday!" So, I thought I'd post some of them; some in this post, and in posts to come, as I remember them.

One of the things I remembered this morning as we were talking, is "Slap Stick" lollypops. I was in 4th or 5th grade and we lived in Waco Texas. The school I attended had some snack machines, and we had time after lunch to buy something out of the machines, if we had money of course. Well, every once in a while, I would have some change, so I would get a Slap Stick. They were carmel, some white stuff, some green stuff and some pink stuff (probably a type of marshmallow cream)on a stick, rectangular shaped. They were so good. It was always a treat to get one! After talking about them with the girls, I was craving one. I haven't seen them in a long, long time, so I doubt they are still around. I think they should start making them again!!!

One of my other childhood memories is when I was in Jr. High, living in Las Cruces at my Grandpa's house (which was and always will be my home), I had a next door neighbor for a while, who was my age. Her name is Scena. They were/are Mormon's and we were Jehovah's Witness, if you can imagine that!! (Not that that's relevant to this story, but just an interesting fact.) We used to go in her back yard, and play "Little House on the Prairie". We had bonnets and dresses and aprons and everything. We had a whole little "house" set up in the yard, made from sticks and other natural stuff from around the property. We'd make mud pies and cakes, and other food! We'd pick pecans off of their pecan trees and pretend they were everything and anything! We even had some dishes we took out there to use. It was great! We'd spend hours out there cooking, and cleaning, going to church, being Laura and Mary Ingalls.

As I more of my childhood memories flash into my head, I will try to get them posted. Once I get to thinking about them, I find I am remembering alot of things I had not thought about in a while. It's sort of fun and makes me happy :)

Granny Hubbard

Granny Hubbard is my dad's mom. She is lying in the hospital in Texas right now, waiting to go home to Jesus. She has been very sick for a while. I was told her sodium was too low, so her brain acted like it was having a stroke, and she has pneumonia. She was on life-support, but yesterday evening, she told the doctors/nurses that she didn't want it anymore. My sister said she has a picture of Jesus by her bed and was telling him she is ready to come home.

I've only seen my Granny Hubbard 3 times in my life; once when I was 9 or 10, once when my oldest daughter Trisha was a baby, and then in September 2003, Trisha and I went to Texas for her 87th (??) birthday. The latest trip, she was in a rehabilitation hospital due to a stroke. My sister was there as well, with her husband and kids. It was a great family reunion! I got to meet many of my relatives on my dad's side that I have never met before or hadn't seen since I was a kid. Although Granny was in the hospital, she was very happy to see us, and she really lit up, when she realized my sister and I were there.

I won't get to go down and see her, to say good-bye to her earthly body. I am sad, yet joyous, because she has Jesus in her heart and will be with Him in heaven, healthy and whole, once again!

God is sooooooo Good!!!

One little blurb to add to my previous post..

My bosses son, had some problems. But God is moving mightily in his situation...so I just wanted to add that. I wish I could go into more detail...but it just proves what I said earlier.

God is gooood!!!!

Lunch in the office

Today, I am taking lunch in the office due to the fact my car is in the shop getting the windshield wipers fixed, because, oh, they died! So, no car to go home and eat, but my wonderful boss, Cheryl, had food here she was willing to share! Not that I would have starved to death or anything, but I was hungry.

So, since I am here at work with access to a computer, I thought I'd post a blog. I don't really have a topic in mind other than Jeff. He is my favorite topic! I know! I will talk about God too! He's another one of my favorite topics! He (God) has been doing some awesome things in my life lately, most of which I have already posted blogs on, i.e. Jeff, Christmas, my own apartment. But, I have seen Him move in so many ways, and in my friend's lives as well. For instance, my friend Tishia. (I have a link to her blog below.) She came to church yesterday, which was so good to see. If you read her blog, you can see she's been struggling in just about all areas of her life. But, God is there for her and He loves her so much. She just has to realize it and realize that its up to her. And she is starting to realize that. She and I prayed yesterday for God to move in her life, for the "walls" between her and God to be broken down, and for God to move in the situation with her son and daycare and her job. I know God is going to do great things in her life, she just needs to let Him in again. Sometimes, when we don't live our lives just so, we let sin enter in, then we feel we can't call upon God, or we feel God is mad at us. Well, God may be hurt by our sin, because we hurt ourselves when we sin, but that doesn't mean he stops loving us or caring for us, or isn't there for us anymore. That's precisely why he sent his son, Jesus, to die for us, for our sins. So we can be forgiven, so we can draw close to God and so we can call upon him still. We just have to take the first step and ask for forgiveness and repent (turn from) our sin. Now, I know Tishia said in her blog that she doesn't even care about God, but I know that's not true. Otherwise she wouldn't blog it, and she wouldn't let me pray with her.

There are other friends of mine who have their various struggles too, and so I will continue to pray for them privately, and if they choose to come to me for prayer, I will be here for them. I just love to see God move in people's lives! Most often, it's not what we want or expect! It's BETTER!!!

Such is the case with Jeff and I. (Back to my favorite subject!) The way God moved in our lives, bringing us to each other is so much better than anything I could have done. By this I mean I tend to pick men who are control freaks, or worse, abusive in some way, mentally, emotionally and/or physically!!! But, since I let God choose the one for me, he (Jeff) is so awesome. He's godly, and strong, manly, and loving, not controlling at all, and definitely not abusive in any way! It's amazes me, truly! He has a heart for youth and a heart for worship, which are the two areas that my heart turns to. Even after 2 whole months of dating, I still say "wow". Wow to God, and Wow to Jeff. It's soooo cool! I could go on and on, but I think I will save some for another blog, another day.

Happy New Year!!!

Ok, so it's January 4th already, and I am just getting to post a new blog about the new year. It's a little difficult when my computer doesn't work!!! So, I am staying after work to play on the computer for a bit, since Jeff won't be over till 7:30 or so, after his men's group.

So, new year! So far it has been fabulous! Jeff and I spent New Year's Eve at the Hawkins, with a bunch of 20 somethings and teenagers. There were a few of us in the "somethings" age group. We played Mafia, which is a really fun game, but too long to explain on this blog. But Jeff killed me and I killed him. It was all for the sake of the game though! We left right after midnight, as Jeff had to get home to Rose, his parents dog, and he had to be at work at 8:00 on Saturday. But, it was very nice having someone to bring in the New Year with! A special someone I might add!

After he got out of work on Saturday, New Year's Day, he picked me up and we went to a wedding reception for some friends of mine from church. I went to the wedding, which was very cool. It was a 2nd marriage for both the bride and groom. The way they included their kids in the wedding brought tears to my eyes. The reception was fun. Lots of dancing and good food. Jeff and I got there kinda late, being he had to work and all. But, it was perfect timing, actually. We didn't have to wait in line to eat, and the dancing didn't start until after we were there 1/2 hour or so.

So, Jeff and I danced our first official slow dance together! Very romantic! Jeff is such a romantic man. I hope that never ends! We danced, looking into each others eyes, just holding each other. The funny part was that we tended to go in a circle in one direction, and we joked about that we were going to drill a hole in the floor if we kept that up. So we changed directions, and Jeff said "let me lead!" Hmmmm...ok, so I'm not a great dancer!!! Well, we will just have to practice that more!

Sunday, I went to my church only, as Jeff was working. When he finished work, we went out to his house and spent time with Rose.

Monday night, Jeff came over for dinner, went to his Emmaus Board meeting, then came back and we spent some time together. We've decided that we are going to start reading "Choosing God's Best". It is about Christian dating/courting, setting guidelines and boundaries. We have discovered that since we finished our first book, "101 Questions to ask BEFORE getting engaged", that it is more difficult to find things to talk about, so we end up kissing, which leads to other things that we don't want to get into. We want to wait for marriage. There are times we find that if we are not occupied with good conversation, a good movie, or company, that we could end up doing the wrong thing. Hopefully, "Choosing God's Best," will help keep us occupied and keep the lines of communication open. Jeff is going to bring over some of his recordings of Joyce Meyers and Creflo Dollar programs to watch.

Other good news...I've been praying about being more involved in the Walk to Emmaus program, and today, one of the board members asked me to join a committee for Emmaus. That means I will get to be involved/help out with each walk, which is what I wanted to be able to do. So, thank you Lord, for opening that door.
I guess that's about it for now.

Christmas

I have to say that this Christmas was one of the best I have had in a long time. The reasons being; A. It was so nice to have someone to share it with - Jeff, of course. B. Kaleb, Karlie and I were blessed by a family downstate who "adopted" us. They sent the kids several gifts, and I received a couple of things myself. They would not have had much to open Christmas morning if it weren't for the generosity and kindness of this family. C. I got to spend this Christmas with my kids, my mom, my nephew, my sister-in-law, and her two kids, Cory and Gary. D. All of the Christmas music at Jeff's church, and the programs, just really made it feel like Christmas this year. Speaking of Christmas programs...Christmas Eve service at Jeff's church was wonderful. He sang in the choir and it was a true joy watching him. But, on the funny side...yes there is a funny side...I ended up sitting with one of the college girls, Heidi, and her family, since the choir sang for the whole program and I wouldn't be sitting with Jeff. Well, Heidi has an awesome sense of humor! Before the service really got going, Heidi pointed out that we'd be using flashlights, yes flashlights, for the "candlelight" service. That just set her off on "welcome to our flashlight service" jokes, which got our whole pew laughing our heads off. Poor Jeff is up in the choir loft, noticing how our pew is laughing, he's trying to compose himself, being the mature, responsible man that he is, but he is having a hard time not laughing as well. And he didn't even know what we were laughing at!!! He could just see all of us laughing. But by the end of the service, we were able to maintain ourselves and behave maturely, for the most part, at least. Then Christmas morning, Jeff, all of my children, my mom and my nephew, Dustin, came over for Christmas Breakfast. Everyone left by 11:30 for other Christmas events to attend, so Jeff and I were able to go to some friends he works with for Christmas lunch. That was an afternoon of relaxing fun, eating more food, and watching 3 year oldish little girls run around and just be 3 year old little girls. It was cute. The dads took the little ones outside to go sledding in the back yard, which entailed the dads pulling the girls on the sleds because there is no hill. One of the dads even convinced the older daughter to pull an empty sled around the shoveled out track they made! That was pretty cute! Then around 4:00 Jeff decided he needed to get home to Rose, his parents dog he is taking care of while they are out in Oregon. So, we went to his house and hung out the rest of the evening there. Then Sunday was church, and we attended most of first service at my church, and headed to his church for the 10:30 service. Jeff didn't have to sing at the beginning of service, like normal, so he got to sit with me for the beginning, then the choir went up and sang for the end of the service. As usual, they did an excellent job. Like I said before, I really enjoyed all the Christmas carols and music this year at Jeff's church. Our church usually does one Christmas Carol during our praise and worship service. So, being that neither of our churches are having their normal services this week, Jeff and I got to spend alot of time together this weekend, which was great, since he just got off of the evening shift just prior to Christmas Eve, and I was really missing him! Plus, he was off for 5 days in a row! Now he's back on days, so we get to spend some time together during the evenings, but not too late, as we both have to get up for work early, and he has to tend to Rose the dog. Speaking of Rose, she is sooo cool. She's a border collie, and is so well behaved. She is 11 years old, and loves to play ball. She makes you work for it! Instead of putting the ball next to you, she intentionally puts it just slightly out of reach, so you have to get up, or bend over to find the ball, just so you can throw it and do the whole process over again. It's really quite fun, for a while. Then we (Rose and I) get tired of playing ball, and she lays down for a while. Then the whole process starts again.
Well, that's enough of my Christmas story for now.

Christmas Play

Last night, Sunday, Dec. 19th was the final night our Christmas Play at Church. We did the classic Christmas story of Scrooge. It was a lot of work, but in the end it turned out very well, and very professional, even though all of the actors are amateurs. We began rehearsing back in the beginning of October, and by Opening Night, Friday, December 17, 2004, we all had become our characters and the church was transformed into a small 19th Century village. Our youth pastor, Pastor Ray, really "looked" the part. His costume and his appearance were truly the most authentic, in my opinion. Gary, who played Scrooge, did an excellent job!!! He went from grumpy, greedy, heartless, old Scrooge, to a happy, jolly, giving Scrooge, so smoothly and believably. The best part about our play is that we stuck to the original version, in that we didn't take Jesus out of it.And that the reason Scrooge changed so much, is because he realized how bad he had been toward others, how greedy and unkind, and he asked God to forgive him, and accepted Jesus into his heart as his Lord and Savior. We had 23 salvations, and we know we planted more seeds into the hearts of others through this play, which was our purpose. There were many compliments given by the community, and each night ended with a standing ovation from the audience! I believe the community of Gaylord truly enjoyed the show. As soon as pics get posted to our church's web site, I will be sure to make a note of it on my blog! I have seen most of the pics and they are very good as well. Thanks to our church photographer, Sharolyn!

Adding links to blogs and stuff

Today, tonight I should say, my Sweetie, Jeff, is at his Ham radio special event, and I am at my friend Tishia's. She is so nice to let me use her computer. I am so proud of myself that I remembered how to add a link to my blog template, after Jeff just showing me once! Yeah! I added my sister, Christie's blog, to my blog. And Jeff showed me how to make a link within my blog post, as well. He's such an intelligent person! Ok, I know I am being kinda silly right now, but that is the mood I am in.

So, stuff....(I mentioned "stuff" in my title). Jeff and I are really really happy :). And we are discovering more and more about each other. His dad made some very nice comments on his blog about how Jeff and I are "vetting". I recommend reading it. (Notice how I linked it.)

I don't know what else to write about at this moment, so I am going to save this as a draft for now, and maybe come back to it later. Tishia and I are going to watch a movie.


Well, it's Monday now. I am at work, waiting for documents to come in so I can finish my files. I had a great weekend! Jeff got finished with his ham radio special event early on Saturday, and to my surprise I might add, called me at 5:00 and then came over. We spent the evening with my kids, playing games. It was great! We played "Hitch Hiker". We put two chairs in the middle of the floor, and there is a driver and a hitch hiker. The driver 'picks up' the hitch hiker and the driver has to 'catch' the hitch hikers personality. When the driver catches their personality, the driver pulls over and the hitch hiker becomes the driver. Then another hitch hiker comes up, as soon as they think of a personality to be, and the driver picks them up, and the game is repeated. There is no objective to the game, no winners or losers, just plain fun! I think Jeff and I had a little bit of a hard time in the beginning thinking of personalities, but once we got going, it became easier. My favorite was when he chose to be dracula! Then, Sunday, we went to first service at my church, and 2nd at his. We had to get up in the middle of Pastor Steve's message, however, so Jeff could make it to his church by 10:15 to sing in the choir. Later that afternoon, we had an opportunity to explain to Pastor Steve the reason for us leaving in the middle of his sermon. He did mention that he was thinking about teasing us as we were leaving, but he changed his mind, as he didn't want us to be embarrassed, especially since it was Jeff's first visit to a regular service at our church. I'm glad he didn't tease us, because I get picked on enough by Pastor Steve! (A topic for another blog?) The rest of the afternoon, evening went well, for the most part. The Christmas Musicale at Jeff's church was last evening as well. Well, Jeff thought it started at 6:30, when in fact it started at 6:00. He was disappointed that he was late, and missed singing with the men's group. I was disappointed too that I didn't get to hear Jeff sing with the men's group, but was happy that I did get to see him sing with the full choir later. After the Musicale we went and joined the Senior High youth group. That was interesting and entertaining! I got to meet some of Jeff's "kids", who are an important part of his life, so that meant alot to me. Then we spent the rest of the evening at my apartment talking and spending time together, and just falling more in love with each other. It was a great weekend!!!

First Visit to Jeff's Church

Today was the first time that I visited Jeff's church as part of a regular Sunday morning service. I was nervous, I must say. I was nervous just due to the unfamiliarity of attending a different church, where I'm not accustomed to the "way they do things". Jeff is Methodist and I attend a charismatic church. So there are some very big differences in the way we worship God. ("We" being our different churches). I was glad that I was familiar with his church as far as the building itself goes, due to my involvment in Emmaus and that is the church where I took my walk. But one of the first things I noticed as we walked in was the smell. The smell reminded me of when I was little, and we attended a Presbyterian church in Las Cruces. Its funny how scents and smells can trigger so many memories. Anyway, I was warmly welcomed, and per Jeff's direction, I sat in one of the pews by the windows so when he was done with his part in the choir, he could find me easily. Well, that of course was no problem-he finding me-because as the choir assembled in at the back of the sanctuary, I turned around and saw his smiling face, and he waved at me, ever so cutely! Not wanting to look like a big dork, I just smiled at him. Then the choir made their way to the front of the sanctuary, as they sang "O Come O Come Emmanuel", which was very nice! I really enjoyed seeing Jeff participating in the choir. As they sang more hymns, I was dissapointed because I could not see Jeff because the choir director was standing right in front of him. But, I did notice Jeff trying to take a peek at me around the choir director! And later he admitted to doing that! Then when the choir was dismissed, Jeff came and sat next to me. That was a great moment. The two of us sitting next to each other, in a regular church service, for the first time, as a couple. It felt really really nice. We sang a couple more hymns which I am not familiar with at all, being raised a Jehovah's Witness, and now attending a charismatic church. I do know, or rather am familiar with some hymns because my mom used to play them on her piano when I was growing up. But the two we sang today, were not familiar at all. So, I didn't sing. But, I did get to hear Jeff singing next to me. That was very nice. He has an awesome voice! Wooohooo! Reverend Naile gave a nice message on how Jesus will return to the earth as a thief will come in the night when no one is expecting it. Then we were dismissed. I was introduced to Paul, the youth Pastor and Jeff's friend, and Paul's wife Lisa. They were very nice. Then Jeff and I walked out to the hallway, and ran into Marie, and she was ecstatic to see us together. She said, "I heard this rumor!" and as she lifted Jeffs choir robe sleeve to see if we were holding hands (and we were) she said, "I am glad it's not a rumor! It's a God thing!" That was great! Then Jeff introduced me to one of his "kids", Heidi. She used to be in the youth group, but is now in college. She was very nice and out going. We actually chatted this afternoon on MSN messenger. She said I seemed nice and when Jeff told her I was sitting right next to him, she made a joke about him sending her flowers. I think we will get along great!!! Then we went into the fellowship hall and I ran into Shari. I know her through work actually, and when I told her that Jeff is my boyfriend, she grinned from ear to ear, and actually giggled! She was so excited, and she told me how great Jeff was! That's so cool to hear! I know he's awesome, and to hear others confirm it, makes it even better. I also met Paul's Mom, Barb, she wanted to hear the whole story of how we met...we gave her the condensed version. I also met Jeff's friends, the Coopers, whom I already knew through work. Well, I sort of know them, I know who they are I guess I should say, since they closed at our office. Jeff officially introduced us, and they seemed very nice and happy for us. And as we were leaving, Jeff introduced me to the organist, Shirley, I think her name is???? Sorry, if that's not right. But, she asked me if I sing, and I said yes, reluctantly. She said Jeff sings and has a very nice voice, and I agreed! She mentioned how good he is with the youth, and everything else he does. I told her I know he is awesome, I think so too! So, it was a very nice day at church today, meeting some of Jeff's church family and friends. I hope to get to know more of them!

We came back to his house, and we had a really nice talk. We went through some more questions in our book we are doing together as a couple. It really opens the doors of communication. It is so nice that he trusts me and I know I can trust him with everything. I have no fear of saying something that might scare him off now. Thank you Jeff for that and everything else you have brought into my life. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us! It's going to be fun and awesome!

It's a God thing!

I just read Jeff's latest post, so I thought I'd add my thoughts of the past events in our new romance. Jeff's Mom and Dad are so nice and "welcoming". I felt completely comfortable around them, even though I didn't talk much, but that's just my personality. They seem very warm and family oriented, and it was just so nice to meet the two people that brought the best thing that ever happened to me into this world. So Thank You to Tom and Aleene Lutz!

Let's see...Jeff told all about how we met and started dating, and he told it very well, I might add, so I don't need to go into any of that. So, I will talk about what's been happening since then. Like he said, meeting of the family members went well, although he still has to meet my mom. I am sure that will go well, my mom is pretty accepting to most people, if she ever gets over here to Gaylord, or we ever go to her house in Boyne City. We will have to make the effort, I am certain. My best friend, Rhonda, who now lives in Missouri, approves of Jeff, just from what I've told her and what she's read on his blog and web site. She has no "red flags" about him. And neither does my sister! So, those are two huge plusses. Not that I need anyone's approval, but it's so exciting that they are excited and happy for me, that I have found someone who truly makes me happy. They know it could only be a "God thing". Speaking of "God things", Jeff made mention of how neither of us believe in coincidences, and that is so true. During our blossoming romance, we have both noticed that what I like, he likes as well. This not only pertains to the physical things, like touch and looking into each others eyes, but the spiritual and the emotional things. We have such a strong spiritual connection, which is the most important connection, that all the other things fall into place naturally. It is "so cool" (as we both have a tendancy to say). God gave me a scripture 2 years ago; Psalm 37:4 which reads, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." God gave me that when I was praying for a relationship. As Jeff and I have been talking and getting to know one another, he mentioned the above scripture, that God gave it to him, a year or so ago, too. How awesome is that??? So, now we are beginning to expand our horizons in the sense that we are going to start attending each others church services when our schedules allow. We both know that this will be a decision we have to make down the road, which church are we going to attend. But, for now, we are going to go to each others. That just means more church, more getting closer to God, and therefore, more time we get to spend with each other, and interact with each others friends and church families. Tomorrow will be the first time that I will attend his church as part of a regular church service. I have been to his church many times, as a matter of fact that is where I took my Walk to Emmaus. (Doubt that's a coincidence!) And that is where the beginning of our "relationship" began, on the last two walks, at his church. Plus, I have been there for a couple of luncheons with a co-worker who is a member of the same church. And a craft sale. I have also been to Jeff's church on a Sunday, as part of the Emmaus team, and have seen Jeff sing in the choir (which is another God thing-we both sing!). I might add, that just as Jeff was not wanting to be too obvious about hanging around me while typing for the men's walk, I too was trying not to be too obvious about hanging around and watching him sing that Sunday morning of the Women's walk. I think its cute how we can tell each other these things now, and as we look back on them, put it all together, that he was interested in me as much as I was interested in him. Another God thing! So, as this romance continues to grow, and we get to know each other more spiritually and emotionally, I'm sure he and I will have tons to write about. He mentioned once, in the very beginning of our romance, that it would be nice to log all of this stuff. Uh, I think we are doing that very thing! This could be called "Jeff and Mary's Love Story".

The past week :)

I haven't posted a blog in a while due to the fact that A) I have been kinda busy this last week :) and B) my computer is not working, and I don't have the internet at my new apt. yet, so I have to "borrow" someones or get on line at work, during lunch, which is what I am doing now.

Where to begin???!!! The main thing that has been on my mind lately is Jeff. That is because we have been dating the past week and 2 days, and have been officially "boyfriend/girlfriend" since Friday, when we both decided to talk about how we feel. It has been so cool discovering our commonalities! We can sit and talk for hours upon hours! (with a little, well a lot, of kissing in there as well) :) (I hope this doesn't embarrass him!) So, needless to say, I have been "glowing" the past few days. Literally! All of my friends never fail to mention it! I don't mind. I have good reason to glow! Jeff brings a smile to my face, like no other! We just click! It is soooo cool, that words just can't describe. We, of course, are in the "cheesy" stage right now...saying all the cute things (that I love, by the way). And we are both so amazed at how God brought us together, at the perfect time. Everyone...all of my friends, and church family who know Jeff are so excited and happy for me. They know I have been waiting on God for this special man! I go to bed everynight thanking God for bringing Jeff into my life! And I pray that I am the Godly woman that He created me to be, for Jeff's sake. I can't wait to see what God is going to do next in our lives. We both can sense it is going to be exciting!

I'm sure I will write more on this subject, since it is my favorite! Stay tuned! :)

My Child is turning 21!

I am sitting here, at work, on lunch, once again. It seems to be a good time to let my mind relax, so I can post a blog!

I had lunch with my two oldest children, Trisha and Brandon, yesterday. And we were discussing my daughter's up-coming 21st birthday, making plans, etc. Well, today, while working, my mind keeps "freaking out" that my oldest child is turning 21! I normally don't have a problem with my age, (except this last birthday-it was a "biggie"). I seem to have more of a "problem" with Trisha's. I don't even have a "problem" with my youngest getting older (she is 12 now). Just Trisha! So, I ask myself, "why?" Why does it bother me so much when Trisha gets older? I remember when Trisha turned 13. It was weird, then, to think that I have a teenage daughter! Then when she turned 16, the whole driver's training thing! Oh my! She did very well though, except the time she side swiped a car :) Then it was 18, then graduation, and now 21! I have an adult daughter! How can I have an adult child!??! I am only 25! Ok,not really, but I feel only 25! I think that's why it is so weird to me, because I am not where I pictured myself being at my age of....ok....40. (Yes I have a problem admitting that I am 40). I pictured myself uh, married...still, with kids, a career (as opposed to just a job!) a nice house, established, settled, accomplishing something important...you know, the way most people picture themselves. Well, I was married, do have kids, and I do have a good job (almost a career I guess you could say). Nice house? Uh, no, not yet. Established, settled, no, but working on it! Accomplished? YES! I have 4 beautiful, awesome children! I gave birth to them, and raised them to be GREAT! kids. And they truly are GREAT kids! I am so proud of each of them. They are good kids, they don't get into trouble (except when they get mouthy!) They each have gifts and talents, some they inherited from me and some they inherited from their dad, but most of all they are God given, that they use daily and will continue to utilize and develop as they grow. It's so exciting to watch! So, even though I didn't go to college, well finish college, or have done "anything with my life" from a secular standpoint, I have accomplished a great thing-4 great things! And even though I have not always had a relationship with God, and have not always turned to God, He has guided me and directed me to be right where I am, right now. He has been there for me each and every step of the way, even when I didn't know it. So, now that I have laid this all out in my post, it all boils down to....I am happy with what I have accomplished in my life! And if God wants me to do something more, something "important" with my life, then He will take me down that path as well. It's all in His hands!

How others see me

Tonight was our annual banquet at church. It was fun and interesting. We had a great dinner catered in, a video slide show, which there were approximately 5 pictures with me in them. Some were good, some not so good! But, oh well! So, I am at my friend Tishia's now, with Angel and Don as well, and we are reflecting about the banquet, all except Tishia, because she didn't go.

Tishia sent me an email to Test Your Personality and Love Style. So, I took it and as I was answering the questions, Don and Tishia were behind me, giving their views of how I should answer them. Don's were quite a bit different than mine and Tishia's. Now, this could be because A) Tishia knows me better and/or B) because Don is a guy. I think it is a little of both. Don knows me pretty well, but I think because he is a guy, he sees me different. I think Tishia sees the me I want to be and strive to be, but Don sees the real me, where I struggle, where I am right now. Therefore, the way they thought I should have answered the questions, could both be correct, somewhat. When I got two extremely different answers from them, I chose somewhere in the middle (it was a rating system). It was an interesting test, and if I knew how to put the link on this blog post, I would....maybe I will know how to do that by tomorrow night. :-)

Well, time to let Tishia have her computer back.

Alot about nothing

Today, I am going to just type. I have 10 minutes left on my lunch break, so this post may be full of typos, just rambled thoughts, or a bunch of nothing...who knows!

I am back at work after my 5 day vacation. It actually feels good to be back, even though I am swamped, and have a stack of files to go through and sort out. (I got most of the sorting done, now I just have to deal with each of them!) But, I work with great people like my job, so that helps the stacks not be so bad to deal with.

So, Bush won! yeah! It's all in God's hands, and I trust in Him completely to lead our nation in the direction its going. If Kerry won, I know that would be God's plan as well. There are so many people praying for our nation, and God will not let us down! He loves each and every person on this Earth, no matter what religion, nationality, race, etc. that they are!

I have 4 minutes left! So, I better quit typing, and get everything ready to get back to work.

Vacation

Today is the 4th day of my 5 day vacation. This is the first vacation I've taken without going out of town, so it has been different. I sort of feel like I called in sick without being sick! But, I must say it has been a most relaxing vacation. I haven't done much of anything, which was exactly what I wanted to do, because, frankly, I needed a break. I have been on the go so much lately...with work, church, and other activities, I just needed to not do much, so I could re-group. And with one more day off, I feel as if I have accomplished just that. I began my vacation, Friday, by sleeping until 1:30 in the afternoon. I cannot remember the last time I've done that, but I can tell you it's been a reallllly long time! When my friend, Angel, got off work, which coincidentally happened to be around 1:30, we went putzing around town, and then to our friend Todd's house and watched movies. Angel ended up leaving, however, because she helped our other friend, Don, make his costume for a contest on Halloween night. So, Todd and I watched movies with our friend Lori, who happened to pop over as well. We watched Scooby Doo 2, Cinderella Story and The Day After Tomorrow. Then I ended up crashing on Todd's couch because it was too late to go home, and Angel had my car. Then Saturday morning, Todd, his daughter Lexi and I went into town, met up with our friend Lora, who is going to school to be a cosmetologist. We had a hair marathon at her house! Then we left there about 7:00 pm and went to our homes and got ready to go to the costume contest. I just wore Don's cowboy hat, because I never plan far enough ahead to come up with a cool costume. Though, I must say, I would like to someday. I think it would be fun and I have some great ideas! Anyway, Don didn't win, even though he really had the best costume. There were mostly devils, and witches, and just scary things, along with a small mix of your usual brides, and bunnies and such. But, Don was a 10 foot tall Uncle Sam. It was great! Totally hand-made (by Angel). So, he really should have won, in my opinion. The next day was Sunday, church day. I had nursery duty first service, so I had to be there before 9:00, and I was tired! But, I was happy when I woke up at 7:00, but really it was 6:00 because I forgot to turn my clock back! That was great! So, we did church, then we had to, well didn't have to, but volunteered to help set up for the Harvest Party. We got free lunch! (Free food is always a good thing!) So when that was all finished, we (we is Don, Angel, Todd, and whoever else...) went home and got ready for the Party! Some of my other girl friends, talked me into being a Spice Girl with them. I was Sporty Spice. We sang 3 karaoke songs to prove we were the Spice Girls??? LOL. It was fun and we did draw a crowd! (I don't know if it was our excellent singing ability or our costumes that drew the crowd.) So, needless to say it was a ton of fun. I came over to my friend Tishia's, who is so kind to let me use her computer! I crashed here, as she is finishing up her vacation as well. We just hung out today. We took her son to school this morning, then we went to Boyne Falls because she had to get something from her brother. Then, we came home, and I showered (had to get the 10 pounds of hairspray out of my hair! And I shower everyday anyway....just so ya know!) , then we were starving, so we went to Big Boy for their breakfast bar. Since I never get to go there on a weekday, I didn't realize their Breakfast bar is $2 cheaper on the weekdays than the weekends! Anyway! So, then my new friend Jeff (who is probably the only one who will read this, other than Tishia or my sister) came over and he shared his video from the South Pole with us. That was soooo cool! Jeff, if you do read this...thanks for sharing that! It's amazing to think that people actually go there and live there for a year, to do work and experiments and such. I had the usual questions I think....like did you miss the sun? It stays dark there for 6 whole months. That would be weird to me, but I think I adapt easily, so I imagine I would cope. I live in Northern Michigan, and people who have never lived here or been here, ask how we handle the cold. You just dress for it and learn to get out in it, and do fun things, like skiing or snowmobiling. And it looked like, from the video, that they created fun things to do there too ;-)
So, that brings me to where I am right now, typing this blog. I was just surfing the net while Tishia and her son take a snooze. I think I will return to my surfing! For the rest of my vacation, I will see where the wind blows me! Ha! I know I will go vote tomorrow, but that is all I have as a definite plan for right now. I think that I will be refreshed after this vacation, ready to get back to work! Yeehaa.