My First Mammogram

Well folks, I had my first mammogram yesterday. I must say it was quite smashing! LOL! If you don't want to read about my boobs, I suggest you stop reading now because I am going to be talking about them an awful lot in this post.

I was a bit anxious over getting my first boob smashing mammogram.  Everyone I know who has ever had one talks about how much they hurt. My appointment wasn't until 2:00PM and I had to work, so my mind was occupied most of the time until my appointment.

When I arrived at the hospital, I really didn't have any idea where I was going, but quickly found the right place. The nice lady took me in her office for the preliminary registration. During the registration she mentioned that I don't look 44, that I look good for my age; that made me feel very happy! I had to walk a few feet down the hall to the radiology department. I checked in, and was asked to have a seat in the waiting area. I waited and waited, and watched other people come and go, and wondered if they forgot about me.  Then I remembered I was in a doctor's office/hospital and one usually does end up waiting and waiting. Anyway, as I was sitting and waiting, my mind was wondering what this will actually be like, if I will have to run around the hall in a hospital gown with my buns hanging out, if a man is going to do the boob smashing, and on and on.  I had about 45 minutes for my mind to wander so you can imagine the thoughts!

Finally, I get called in, by a woman; whew! As we walked down the hall she kindly explained that she would explain everything as we went along, since this was my first boob smashing mammogram. 

The first thing I had to do was put on this gown cape that barely covered my tummy and only snapped at the neck.  I was wondering how far I'd have to walk in this thing! Luckily it was not far, and I got to leave everything below my waist on, so it wasn't too bad.  The walk to the room where the boob smashing actually takes place wasn't too far and we didn't pass anyone in the hallway. I was relieved. I wanted as few people as possible to see my muffin top hanging out over my jeans!

We got to the boob smashing room and the boob smasher asked me to have a seat because she had MORE questions for me! You'd think that the information would travel from department to department with computer technology these days, but no. I have to tell my doctor all my history,  the lab, the radiologist and so on...sorry got a little off track there; back to the boob smashing! After answering all the questions again that I already answered a 100 times, the boob smasher directed me to the boob smashing machine. Here's where the fun begins.

The boob smasher nice lady asked me to pull the gown cape aside to expose my right boob breast. She then grabbed gently held my boob and began moving it all around, while telling me to relax, pull my  chin back so it's not in the film, turn my body but not my head, etc. etc. Finally, my boob was just right on the boob smashing machine! The boob smasher told me that it's not supposed to hurt (that's the first I EVER heard anyone say that!) and if it does to let her know because that means the boob isn't laying just right in the boob smashing machine! So good so far. As she walked around the corner to take the first shot, she told me to hold my breath and for a few brief second there was some pain, but it was over quickly.

Onto the left boob.  Same procedure above, but when the boob smashing machine clamped down, it hurt! I let the boob smasher know right away and she readjusted my boob.  Hold my breath, a few seconds of pain, and we're all done.  WRONG! Two more shots of each boob but from a different angle. This time I have to stand with my side to the boob smashing machine while the boob smasher tries to get my boob in the boob smashing machine just right again! Turn my body, but not my head, hold onto this bar with my right hand, keep my chin out of the picture, blah, blah, blah.  Hold my breath, pain, done. Oh except for the left boob! Repeat same steps above.

Finally my girls and I are done! After sitting while the boob smasher checks the pics to make sure they are okay so I don't have to re-take any (could you imagine?!) I go and put back on my clothes and the boob smasher nice lady is looking at my pics and tells me that I might qualify for a something boob density something??? I thought she was telling me there was something there, and I was starting to worry, but as my hearing cleared up, I realized she was saying I have dense boobs and I might qualify to part of a boob density study and that my boobs could be stars! LOL.  Will I get paid??? That would be cool!

If you are young enough not to have had your first boob smashing party, don't worry. It really isn't that bad and the small amount of pain there is only lasts a few short seconds X 4! LOL. So, relax before you go in, listen to the boob smasher's instructions, and remember why you are getting this done: to help detect breast cancer while it's still early.